Interviewing the Youkai
by Starr-fish
Summary: Okies, Chapter 2 & 3 just added! *smiles*
1. Sesshoumaru

I don't own Sesshoumaru... Too bad.. Actually, you wouldn't really CARE if I did or not, you would STILL R&R ANYWAYS, right? ^__^   
This story has some Sesshoumaru bashing, at least.. I say it does.   
  
~~~~  
  
Interview with a Youkai  
  
  
The author sits at a table in a dark room. I mean, seriously dark; so dark you couldn't see your hand if it was right in front of your face! The added fact that there were no lights didn't help its darkness, either. Actually, even if it HAD windows, it'd still be pretty dark... Point is, it was dark. Soo... back to the story... I guess...  
The author sat silently. She stared across the table at the youkai, his face set in a frown. The silence was a dead kind of silence.  
  
Author: "So Sesshoumaru... May I call you Fluffy??"  
Sesshoumaru: *twitches*  
Author: "Eheh.. I take that as a no..."  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Author: "Are you gonna talk at all or are we just gonna sit here like idiots?"  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Author: "..."  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Author: "..."  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
  
This goes on for about an hour or so until our author give up. ^-^;;  
  
Author: "TALK!!!"  
Sesshoumaru: "Worthless human."  
Author: "Grr... You are so lucky I fear for my life, bud!"  
Sesshoumaru: "Meaning..?"  
Author: *shows a picture of her friend Tabby* "Tabby-sama = sharp nailed Fluffy fan"  
Sesshoumaru: "Say no more, human"  
Author: "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"  
Sesshoumaru: "You are human, are you not?"  
Author: "...maybe"  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Author: "Fah.. Not that again..." *bangs her head on the table*  
Sesshoumaru: "Ask your questions, mortal."  
Author: "Wha...? Oh, right! Er.. Ready"  
Sesshoumaru: "Yes."  
Author: "Why are you so mean to Inu-san?"  
Sesshoumaru: "The half-blood?"  
Author: "Yes.."  
Sesshoumaru: "Sibling rivalry"  
Author: *sweatdrops* "Oookay... Second question: What's with the boa?"  
Sesshoumaru: "It isn't a boa."  
Author: "Well, it LOOKS like a boa, it FEELS like a boa, it MUST BE a boa!"  
Sesshoumaru: "It isn't."  
Author: *mumbles* "Yes it is..."  
Sesshoumaru: *shows claws*  
Author: "Eep!"  
Sesshoumaru: *glares*  
Author: "Woah.. major death stare..." O.o  
Sesshoumaru: "Thank you, wench"  
Author: *twitch*  
  
By this time, Author's dear friend Tabby-sama has found her way to the Super-Dee-Dooper Dark Room™. She stands in the corner waiting.. And watching.. And sharpening her nails... -_-;;  
  
Tabby-sama: "AHA!" *jumps out, pointing a finger a Author*   
Author: "Oh.. Eheh.. Hi Tabby.." *gets scared*  
Tabby-sama: "You foolish human! Omae o korosu!!" *laughs evilly*  
Sesshoumaru: "I believe I am still in the middle of an interview."  
Tabby-sama: "Oh.. Gomen, Sesshoumaru-sama"  
Author: "Oookay! Now.. back to the interview!!"   
  
The Author sits down in her seat, Sesshoumaru follows suit and sits.   
  
Author: "Sit Tabby"  
Tabby-sama: "Baka, I'm not Inuyasha!"  
Author: "Sorry. Tabby, would you like to continue?"  
Tabby-sama: *kicks Author out of her seat*  
Author: "Daijoubu...Daijoubu..."  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Tabby-sama: "So.. Sesshoumaru-sama... How are you?"  
Sesshoumaru: *sarcastically* "Just peachy."  
Tabby-sama: "THAT'S nice!"  
Author: "Ask him about Rin! Ask him about Rin!"  
Tabby-sama: "Shut-up human!" *turns to Sesshoumaru* "So.. what are you to Rin, exactly?"  
Sesshoumaru: "Pardon?"  
Tabby-sama: "Are you a father figure, a friend..."   
Author: *coughs LOUDLY*  
Sesshoumaru: "Father figure, no more."  
Author: "Uh-huh..."  
  
Timer: *RINGS*  
Sesshoumaru: *kills timer*  
Author: "Oh, too bad... Seems we're out of time.. Eheh.."  
Tabby-sama: "Well, that was a waste of time."  
Sesshoumaru: "..."  
Tabby-sama: *hugs Sesshoumaru and skips away singing 'I hugged Sesshoumaru-sama*  
Sesshoumaru: o.O  
  
  
~~~~~  
  
WELL..... Eheh.. That didn't solve anything. ^-^ Now Tabby-sama has a REASON to hurt me, MUAHA!!   
Here's a little REVIEW of the Japanese word/phrases that I have used here…  
  
Sama - term of high respect.  
  
San - Refers to someone older than yourself.  
  
Omae o korosu - Means somewhere along the lines of "I will kill you" Any TRUE Gundam Wing fan would know this. If they don't, then they should.  
  
Daijoubu - "I'm alright" 


	2. Sesshoumaru Again

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Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshoumaru. I don't own his boa. I don't want to own Jaken. I DO own the dark room though, for its in my mind. I own the duct tape, too.

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Interview with a Youkai

Chapter 2

Author, Sesshoumaru, and Tabby are still in the Dark Room, what fun! Sesshoumaru is impatiently awaiting leaving. Is that a weird sentence or what? Hah hah… Yes, well, Tabby is tied to a chair (in order to keep her from glomping out 'guest') and has duct tape over her mouth. Ahh… The power of duct tape! Author is sitting humming quietly to herself, and is off in her own little world.

Tabby: "Mpmh!" 

Author: "Wha? Oh yes, the interview…"

Tabby: *glares*

Author: *clears her throat* "Nice to see you again, Sessy!"

Sesshoumaru: "You locked me in your basement, wench!"

Author: ^O^;; "Ohoho! Don't be silly… I don't have a basement!" *pats Sesshoumaru's head*

Sesshoumaru: *growls*

Author: "Silly puppy!"

Sesshoumaru: *glares*

Tabby: *glares*

Author: "Back to the boa thing."

Sesshoumaru: "It isn't a boa."

Author: "Then what is it!?"

Sesshoumaru: "A weapon."

Author: "A weapon?" *face faults*

Sesshoumaru: "Yes. A weapon."

Author: "I just don't see it…"

Sesshoumaru: "See what?"

Author: "The boa as a weapon."

Sesshoumaru: "It isn't a boa."

Author: "What're you gonna do, smother someone with its… Fluffyness?"

Sesshoumaru: "Yes."

Author: *shrugs*

Tabby: *laughs evilly*

Author: *stares*

Tabby: *jumps up and pulls the duct tape from her mouth* "YEOOOW!!!"

Author: "Haha!"

Tabby: *glares* "Foolish human! You shall perish under my nails!"

Sesshoumaru: "Anything else, or can I leave now?"

Tabby: *glomps Sesshoumaru*

Author: "Just a few more questions…" *evil laughter*

Sesshoumaru: "Hurry up."

Author: "How can you STAND Jaken? He's so… So…"

Tabby: "Clingy."

Author: "Yesh, clingy."

Sesshoumaru: "He merely follows me wherever I go."

Author: "So he's a stalker?"

Sesshoumaru: "No. A follower."  
Author: "And by follower you mean stalker, right?"

Sesshoumaru: "No."

Author: "Oh. Then what is he?"

Tabby: "A follower!"

Author: "Bound to you by an evil curse?!" *gets all starry-eyes*

Sesshoumaru: "Follower"

Author: "Uh huh…"

Sesshoumaru: "May I leave now?"

Author: *looks at cue cards* "Well, that's all the questions I have."

Sesshoumaru: "So I can leave?"

Tabby: "No!" *glomps Sesshoumaru again*

Author: o.O "Well, that's all the time we have for… Until next time, when Inuyasha joins us!" 

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Thank you for the um.. Three people who reviewed! *sweat drops* Actually, two, considering I pretty much had to CRY to get Tabby to sign. Eheh… Maybe I will get more reviews now that I added a chapter, ne? *prays*


	3. Inuyasha

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Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. Deal with it, I know I have to.

Chapter 3

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Interviewing Inuyasha

Author sat in a comfortable-looking maroon chair, her arms folded in her lap. She coughed lightly and high-pitched, causing the hanyou to flatten his ears. The room's darkness faded away, leaving in its place gray walls and a very annoyed Sesshoumaru, who found out finally that there were no windows, or doors, for him to escape. Tabby clung to the youkai's "boa" and had a very scary look in her eyes.

Inuyasha: "Who are you anyway?"

Author: "I am the sun, the sky, and the moon. I rule all, see all, and am all, yet I am nothing. I am the who kills fire, the one who lets water live, and the one who is that of which I speak."

Inuyasha: *blinks*

Tabby: "She's the author."

Inuyasha: *growls*

Author: "Don't worry, Inu-chan, I would never hurt you." *pats Inuyasha on the head*

Sesshoumaru: "Pathetic, don't any of you have anything better to do? Get on with asking him his share of questions so that I can leave."

Tabby: *glomps Sesshoumaru* "Ai shiteru, Sessy-kun!"

Sesshoumaru: "Of course, everyone does."

Author: *twitches* 

Inuyasha: "I don't."

Tabby: *glares at Inuyasha*

Author: "ANYways…" *clears her throat* "Inuyasha, why wont you let Kagome go to school?"

Inuyasha: "She doesn't NEED school, she NEEDS to help me find the shards of the Shikon no Tama."

Author: "Yes, but school is fun!"

Tabby: *coughs*

Sesshoumaru: "He answered the damned question, can I leave now?"

Author/Tabby: "NO!"

Inuyasha: "Actually, I wouldn't mind leaving either."

Author: "Inu-chan, why do you want to become a full youkai? Wouldn't that be denying who you are inside?

Inuyasha: "I want to become a stronger. I don't even know who I am inside, so how could I possibly deny it, and don't call me Inu-chan, wench."

Author: "I AM NOT A WENCH!!" *pulls Kagome out of her pocket* 

Kagome: "Sit!"

SPLAT!! 

Maniacal laugher.

Cussing.

Sit!

SPLAT!

More laughter.

More cussing.

Author: "Do you give up?!"

Inuyasha: *mumbles*

Author: "Well…?"

Inuyasha: "Whatever."

Tabby: "My turn! Inuyasha, why don't you give the Tetsusaiga to Sesshoumaru?!"

Inuyasha: *grabs the Tetsusaiga and growls* "NEVER!!" 

Sesshoumaru: "Calm down, hanyou. No need to get worked up over nothing."

Inuyasha: *hmphs*

Tabby: "Stupid half blood."

Inuyasha: *growls and pulls out the Tetsusaiga again*

Kagome: "Sit!"

*Splat!*

Author: "Thank you!" ^-^ *returns Kagome to her pocket* "Now sit down! Both of you!"

Inuyasha: *sits* "I was gonna sit down anyway." *grumble grumble*

Author: "HERES a question: How did you get your hair so shiny and smooth?"

Tabby: *twitches* "You're asking about HAIR PRODUCTS?! Honestly!!"

Inuyasha: "Well, first I…"

Tabby: "SILENCE!"

Author: "Fine. Never mind. You can tell me after she leaves."

Tabby: "I have a question! Was there ever a time when you wanted to just hand the Tetsusaiga over to Sesshoumaru?"

Inuyasha: "No."

Tabby: "Ya sure?"

Inuyasha: "Yep."

Tabby: "Now even a little bit?"

IY: "Not even."

Tabby: "I doubt it."

IY: "You would."

Some where in this dark, now lighter, room, someone stands quietly in the corner, stifling laughter. Not the nice laughter either; the evil kind - you know, "Kukuku!" Yeah, THAT kind.

IY: "Could I ask you guys a question now?"

Author: "Sure"

IY: "Who's in the corner?"

Tabby: "Huh?"

IY: "I was reading over your shoulder."

Author: "What corner?"

IY: *points*

Author: "Oohh… THAT corner, eheheh…"

Tabby: "Yea, who IS in that corner?"

Author: "No one."

IY: "What? But you just wrote that there was!"

Author: "Does is LOOK like there is someone in the corner?"

IY: *looks* 

Sure enough, there WASN'T anyone in the corner. No one. Not one person. Not one evidence of anyone EVER being there. There was nothing in the said corner. Zip, zilch, nada, nothing, not one thing. At least, not anyone Inuyasha could see. But by golly, did he sure SMELL something! And so, he let is be known.

IY: "I smell something."

Author: "You'll have to be more specific."

IY: "I smell something from that CORNER."

Sesshoumaru: "I, Sesshoumaru, smell something from that corner also."

IY: "It smells like Naraku."

Author: "It was Naraku."

Tabby: "WHAT?!"

Author: "Yea, he's the next person I'm interviewing, isn't that nice?" *smiles*

Tabby/Inuyasha/Sesshoumaru: *glares*

Inuyasha: "Can we kill him?"

Author: "No!"

Inuyasha: "Well, then can I kill him?"

Author: "I'll think about it."

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Kukuku…. Well, that's all for now. I'll write more… When I feel like it, so HAH! You'll have to wait!! *sticks her tongue out* Yesh, for some reason, I feel like a two year old. Dun know why. Feh… Up next: Interviewing Naraku. *smiles* That'll be fun!


End file.
